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Friends don’t grow old 24 May 2010

Posted by uggclogs in Happiness.

Last Friday, I called a friend of mine whom I haven’t spoken to for years. We have stayed in touch over email and through chat, but we haven’t actually sat down and spoken to each other one-on-one for a very long time.

He is one of my left-over friends from my High School days, and back then we used to muck around (I once found his car unlocked, so together with another friend, I moved it to a different parking lot to freak him out, and little tidbits like that) which brought great hilarity, but I suppose it was a rather superficial friendship.

Despite the superficial nature of our interactions (if talking shit was a sport, we would have been battling it out for the honour roll at that time) he earned a soft spot with me for caring enough to stay in touch – I mean, I know people grow apart, and it’s a natural progression of distance – but this friend has really made an effort while I have been overseas.

I also know that he has been involved in student politics for a very long time, and he has been studying for even longer. It never really occurred to me until last Friday, but this boy I once used to pull pranks on grew up while I was away, and has developed a depth that I never knew he had, or even could have. It also occurred to me that I myself have changed a lot in the past decade, but one never sees ones own transformation as one sees that of others.

On Friday, we chatted about everything – life, politics, linguistics, languages and love. All in the 30 minutes that the phone call lasted. And it made me realise, that because I have not seen my High School friends for so incredibly long, they never grew any older in my mind. I still think of them as party animals who dance on top of fireplaces and drink too much, people whose hormones were raging and who had no qualms giving it all to their friends. None of us had commitments, and none of us were reliable, but we cared for each other and we banded together against the world. You would never have found a more supportive bunch of international misfits.

But they must all have grown older now. And some of us wiser.

I am thrilled to find that this old friend, who was such a good friend for me back when I was 17, has now developed into a caring, passionate young man, whose views I don’t necessarily agree with, but whose conversation I never thought I could enjoy quite this much. Whose friendship might endure another decade.

I’d drink to that. And one for Mahler.



1. Martin Strøm Nilsen - 24 May 2010

Personally I’m afraid I never changed. Really. I think I was born as a 30-year-old, and that’s how I’ll stay forever. Or at least until I’m 30. I wonder what happens then?

Seriously, I can’t see myself having changed much, but I really hope I did. I’ve always been a know-it-all, but I hope I actually know a little now, unlike 15 years ago. I can see you other guys growing up though. Getting jobs, being productive, getting wiser.

uggclogs - 25 May 2010

I will have to call you when you turn 31 to see how you feel 😉

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